BREAKING NEWS: Tonya Harding joins US coaching team ahead of Fifa World Cup clash with Belgium
“Tonya Harding can bring a lot of experience to the side and ensure the US players get the respect they deserve from the Belgiumians,” Fifa Peace Prize laureate Donald J Trump told Truth Social today.
“It was my idea. She’s a winner. She’s got the best ideas,” the President said in an Oval Office interview.
Harding was, according to “the fake news”, involved in the 1994 assault on her figure skating rival ahead of the Winter Olympics. Nancy Kerrigan was struck in the knee with a metal bar ahead of the games held in Lillehammer, Norway.
The appointment of Harding comes after this week’s reversal of the red card decision against star U.S. forward Folarin Balogun. The President of the United States personally intervened with three phone calls to the Fifa President to pressure FIFA to do “the right thing”. The reversal, unprecedented in modern times, has ignited a global storm of protest.
Even Sepp Blatter whose 17 year reign as Fifa President was so mired in corruption he was forced to resign in 2015 said the decision went too far and crossed a red line that shouldn’t be crossed.
"Red cards are not overturned by political phone calls. They are overturned by rules, evidence and independent bodies," Blatter wrote on X today.
Meanwhile the Brazilian referee who issued the red card to U.S. forward Folarin Balogun is being held in an ICE facility. Trump suggested FIFA President Gianni Infantino passed on incriminating information on the referee in their conversation yesterday. There are unsubstantiated rumours swirling on US patriot sites that the referee has been linked to a kitten-killing ring in Rio de Janeiro.
Half of what I just wrote is utter lies. Half is completely true. In today’s world, good luck with figuring out which is which.
For the record: Nancy Kerrigan recovered from the attack and took the Silver medal. Tonya Harding never made it close to the winners’ dais despite being allowed to compete. Harding eventually pleaded guilty to conspiracy to hinder the prosecution of the attackers. I hate cheats.
Eugene Doyle
